Archive for the ‘Loving’ Category

I’ll be your best friend

Holly & Me

“A friend is someone  with whom you dare to be yourself.” – Frank Crane

Growing up, I met my best friend Holly when I was 10 and she was 11. Our friendship carried us through the final stages of elementary school, junior high, and high school, and for her into motherhood. Even though her family moved a lot, we were never too far apart for any great length of time until she moved permanently to New York at 21. It was then that we lost contact.

She was the second oldest of seven kids and with that came a huge amount of responsibility to which I was happy to shoulder with her. I knew that if I didn’t, we’d never get out to do the things we loved most. In the early days, it was roller skating and bowling. As we aged into teens, it was walking the mall or strolling past the beach paddle board courts where we’d watch the guys play. On one occasion, I literally got stopped when I was engrossed in trying to look so cool that I walked into a parking meter. I’d hoped nobody saw it, but the immense laughter from the court said otherwise. Holly who was quick in wit and on her feet, linked us arm and arm as if it was a purposeful act as we walked out of sight. Then it was side splitting roll in the sand laughter for us both.

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“But she wished she had had the guts to go up to him and say hello.
Or possibly break his legs, she wasn’t sure which.”
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl Who Played with Fire

Meme & Jeff at fair

So cute with his pretty blonde hair and blue eyes and me with the mom jeans.

When I was a single mom, I had a lot of pent-up anger. One, I had a lot of previous life choices and disappointing situations that left me questioning my purpose in this world. Two, I was frustrated with myself for getting pregnant, but now looking back realize it was a blessing. Three, I was mad at my son’s father for lying to me about not being married when in fact he was. Also, when the little guy was 18 months old, his father sued me for paternity and custody. He had decided he wanted to be a dad after all; however, didn’t have his wife’s buy-in. It was a long, drawn out, ugly mess. There were many days I struggled with the assault on my motherhood and personal choices. Thankfully, I had a friend who talked me out of my desire to do sinister things to him like running him over with my car. The anger turned into depression and it stuck to me like chewing gum on the bottom of my shoe for the next seventeen years. Even though I had accepted a life with Christ, gotten married and went onto have another child, the anger was always percolating inside, and particularly when I had to see him every other weekend and hear his verbal insults come out through the mouth of my child.

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Standing in the gap, part 2. Emma’s Inspiration

My oldest son, actually my only son, turned 27 last week. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was in the surgical prep area waiting to have my planned C-Section (we knew he wanted to come out hind end first). I’m just amazed at how quickly the time has flown by as well as why I haven’t been able to lose the 20 pounds I put on as a result of that pregnancy.

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Standing in the gap

My friend and Bible study hostess, Susan (pronounced Shoe-Shawn you know by now that I give everyone a new pronunciation) lent me a book recently titled “Praying for Strangers, An Adventure of the Human Spirit” by River Jordan. (What a great name.) Susan told us about the author’s resolution to pray for a stranger a day in 2009 on the heels of her two sons’ deployment overseas. Each chapter is dedicated to a specific story of prayer. Susan herself was inspired by the book and took on her own resolution—four months running. She tells us every week about her various ‘stranger of the day’ stories and keeps a journal so she can pray 3

Intrigued by Susan’s new found mission, I asked for the book and immediately enjoyed reading the stories River encountered willingly and unwillingly, yet all are filled with God’s hand. I wanted in, and as my mom would say, “Be careful what you ask for because you must might get it.” Read the rest of this entry »

Pardon me, but do you have the time?

Yup. So true.

Does this only happen to me?

I had the occasion recently to go to the doctors. Not one of my favorite things, but since most of my working career was in healthcare, I appreciate having good health. The Executive (my husband) said to me once, “Hon, we’re going to need an inventory. Whatever you’re not having surgically removed is falling off.” I guess he was suggesting my proactive need to stay healthy and deal with what ails me—I think. So on this occasion I noticed that they (the doctor’s office) really aren’t in a position to win your friendship. The receptionist immediately asks that you complete

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Are you all in?

Have you ever been trapped in water or had a near drowning experience? I know full well what it’s like and the need to be brought safely out. You’d think growing up in Florida, I’d have a better feet in water 2command of swimming, but not so much. My younger brother and I were forever getting into either pool water or the ocean surf over our heads. My oldest sister was always in charge of pulling us out, Read the rest of this entry »

How to get through the holidays when your best friend is gone?

Mom and I sit in front of the tree...circa 1980 something. Love those glasses!

Mom and I sit in front of the tree…circa 1980 something. Love those glasses!

With the Christmas season upon us in full swing—as opposed to retailers’ bypassing of fall altogether, our family is doing the seasonal balancing act of living, working, going crazy decorating, shopping, and going crazy some more. We decided last year to get a live tree in lieu of our formerly burnt-out artificial one. We had a family night earlier this week to find our tree. There’s a great place we discovered in town last year (and it’s not like we live in a large metropolis) called “Santa’s Tree Village.” It’s a family-owned business of 28 years that offers hundreds of trees, which they name based on the tree’s gender. Last year we adopted “Tyler” and this year, we found “Emerald”. She’s a Read the rest of this entry »