Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another” (NIV)

My Granny T. went to a “Coffee Clutch”.  The ladies from church would meet to secoffee-and-chocolates-frank-leew while sharing each others struggles and celebrations.  I’d like to offer a “Coffee Clutch” here…a place where we can share our thoughts, burdens and celebrations. If you’ll allow me, I’d love to be there for you to offer a God-inspired point of view. You can email me at vicki@bornagainchic.com.  It’ll just be two friends having a chat…me with my iced tea and chocolate, and you with your favorite comfort food. I will post what I can here so others can learn from the experience.

I hope we can chat soon.

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Lately, I’ve seen on social media people bashing Christians. Basically screaming at the injustices that they see as being created or supported by Christians. They complain that Christians are not responsive enough to t he refuge crisis, are not sympathetic to immigrants in our country, they “support” the stoppage of programs that help homelessness and the hungry under the President’s proposed budget cuts, etc. I don’t know how to respond. It just makes my blood boil. Should I respond and if so, how?

Boiling

Dear Boiling,

For centuries, Christians have been demonized for their beliefs. Some rightfully so because of their skewed take and manipulation of scripture, but those are the ones that classify the masses. The Bible is very clear when it states in John 15:18 that we will be persecuted or hated for the sake of Christ. It’s inevitable that attacks, whether justified or not, will come and sometimes from places we least expect and they will make us stronger in our resolve. So should you respond? That’s up to you, but if you do you’ll need to make sure you’re well versed in your argument of scriptures that support your side, evidence not hearsay countering their claim and ultimately,  proof by your walk. For me, I see the same comments and distortions, some even coming from people within the church who are angry, hurt and feel betrayed. I prefer to one, lift them up in prayer and two, let them vent. If what they say is foolishness, than I waste my breath and energy stepping into the ring to fight. Paulo Coelho once said, “Wise men are wise only because they love. The fools are fools only because they think they can understand love.” God is love. So third, I forgive them if I feel offended. Ultimately, what’s important to me is not how man sees me, but if they can see Jesus in me. I hope this helps.

Matthew 5:44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

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What should Christians do about the election if they don’t like or agree with the candidates that are running for office?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

Good question. We have a lot of varying conversations every day at my store. These days they mostly evolve around the current political climate. I can say there’s certainly is a lot of anger, hostility and frustration on so many topics and against the candidates themselves. It reminds me of what the bible says in Luke 12:53 about the last days, “They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” That being said, what I’ve been doing is praying every day in the morning for our nation, our leaders, our safety and wisdom. Wisdom not only for our leaders, but myself as well. I don’t know what’s going to come of all this, but one thing I’m certain of, is that God is in control and it will be His will that’s done, and it may not necessarily be to our liking. Hope this helps.

Luke 12:53

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I’ve been working since 16 and I’m close to 65 now. The thought of retiring is at the forefront of my mind particularly since there’s a new mailer every day on applying for Medicare. I don’t think I’m ready to retire, and I can keep teaching for a few more years even though every year seems to get tougher than the year before. I enjoy what I do as well as volunteering at my church. My spouse, who’s a few years younger than I, says it’s up to me. What’s your thought?

Who wants to retire?

Dear Who wants to retire?,

The phrase I heard recently at a beloved church member’s memorial service was “I’d rather burnout than rust-out”. If you’re not ready to retire, than don’t leave your job. Don’t fall into the trap set by a set of outsider suggested mandates. Don’t they say age 50 is now the new 30? If that’s the case, 65 is the new 40+. Just saying.

There’s a few things to look at first when considering retirement. One, have you prepared financially for retirement? Two, how would you spend your retired days? These days, particularly as Christians, is no longer about sleeping in late (used to be my fav), playing tennis or golf, and sitting in a rocker. We’re to be about the Lord’s business at all times. You have a wonderful opportunity to continue to touch students’ lives as well as your volunteerism at church. I’d say put a 3, 5 and 10 year action plan in place so that you can gauge your zeal, health and happiness through each benchmark. The Lord honors the faithfulness of his servants. Hope this helps.

1 Corinthians 15:58, Colossians 3:23

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What are your thoughts on Christians dating non-Christians? I’m 25 and have never had a boyfriend. I met a guy online that I like and we have things in common. He’ll go to church with me once in awhile, but says that he’s an agnostic. He even said that if we had kids one day, I could raise them in the church, but not to expect him to go. Is this a waste of time even though he said he’d meet with my pastor?

Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

Wow, that’s a tough one. Nothing is harder than to try and guide the heart. As Christians, my general feeling is that Christ should always be the foundation on which we build our relationships. It’s for this reason we are never a house divided unto itself. You’ll want your spouse to share with you a common ministry, the biblical raising of your children, the managing of your finances, etc. It’s great that your friend wants to meet with your pastor. This is a great first step and can give you both some needed guidance. Just remember, all things are possible with God. I’ll be praying for you both.

2 Cor. 6:14 

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I’m wondering if you can help. With Christmas fast approaching, my husband and I are at odds on when we should tell our 5 year old son that there’s no Santa. My husband feels it can wait; however, I don’t want him bullied or teased, so I want to tell him now. When would you recommend we tell him?

Christmas Mom

Dear Christmas Mom, 

Well I can certainly understand your predicament. First, I would advise that you not do anything that would jeopardize your marriage. You both need to be in agreement with whatever you decide to do. Second, I don’t know if there’s a better age than another, but I’d like to share with you part of my story and perhaps it will give you the direction you seek.

I was a single mom many Christmases ago. When my son was about 5, I became a Christian and wanted to raise him to know and love Jesus. I felt convicted about how we celebrated the holidays so I sat the little guy down. I told him that, “parents tell their children about a magical man that we don’t see, named Santa Claus that brings presents to children all over the world on Christmas Eve. Then there’s another man you can’t see named Jesus. He created the world and everything in it. We love him and pray for his guidance and wisdom. One day soon, you will find out that Santa is not real—it’s really parents who give the presents.” (Imagine his face at this point.) “When that time comes, I don’t want you to think I lied about Jesus too. He is real. He’s the reason we celebrate Christmas because, that’s his birthday. He later died on a cross and rose again to live with God so that we could know Him.” I asked if he understood, to which he responded that he did, but wanted to know if he’d still get presents. “Yes” I responded, much to his relief.

Since then, our kids were presented with the same talk and we’ve enjoyed our Christmases even more knowing what the real meaning of Christmas is, presents and all.

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

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My daughter asked if she could share her experience here.

I’m a freshman in college and find most of my classes to be enjoyable and challenging in a good way, but there is one class that I haven’t been able to enjoy as much. I always loved History class, so when I signed up for one this semester I was thrilled! The second day my professor called on people in the class to answer his questions on religion, specifically the Israelites and their motives. Even though the first part of the lesson was on the Israelites and Egypt, I didn’t feel it necessary for him to pick on people to answer his questions to further his case. Several seats over from me was a student he chose to try and demoralize. He asked her if she believed in a “higher power”. She replied, “Yes” and the entire class laughed at her. I couldn’t believe it! Was this what college was like, people make fun of you for believing in something they don’t? After that, he asked her how she knew that God, or whomever, wanted her to be there in the class. She said, “I have a personal relationship with Jesus.” More laughter. He always twists the Bible in his favor. The next week it was my turn to field his questions for what seemed like the entire class period. I held my ground and answered him according to my faith and beliefs. His inquisitions continue week after week. Is his “teaching style” appropriate? Should I report him? Will all of my classes be like this?
Your best daughter ever

To my best daughter ever (…I know, my only daughter),

First, let me say how proud I am of you for standing your ground and supporting your classmate. It’s never easy to manage what is basically an attempt at public humiliation. Second, as your mom I want to punch him in the nose. That being said, do I think his teaching style is appropriate? No, but it seems like more and more public universities are working overtime to shape young minds away from biblical history and push an agenda that shouts a one for all, Mother Earth we must coexist mentality that separates us from God. Why do they do this? The Bible is very clear in Eph. 6:12. There are powers at work against us and the education system is a good way to accomplish this.  As for reporting him, I don’t think that’s necessary as that may only prove to create hostility on his part. In addition, he’s probably been given some latitude on how to run his class as he sees fit. This would hold true for other classes you may endeavor to take moving forward.

What I would recommend is praying before you go into any of your classes. Ask specifically for: protection from any ill thought or action, the wisdom to act and answer appropriately, and salvation for your teacher(s) and classmates. Like I’ve always told you, God honors the prayers of those who love him and I know you do. Then because you are your mother’s child, I’d probably hand him an index card on the last day referencing 1 Cor. 1:18-19. (I’m not really bitter that he tried to hurt you. Ok, I am. Give him the card.)

Love you baby girl. So happy to be your mom.


For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12 

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.  For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.” 1 Cor. 1:18-19

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I recently started dating a former co-worker who lost his wife several years ago. We were friends then, and reconnecting has been fun. We have a lot in common and enjoy each other’s company. Several months ago, he started acting strange e.g. secretive with his phone, making lame excuses for not coming over, leaving early, etc. I learned he was reconnecting with someone he met previously and had feelings for her. I was shocked and felt betrayed. When I confronted him, he initially denied it, but then said it was nothing and that he was going to break it off. Now several weeks later, we seem to be on track again. He’s reassuring with his feelings for me; however, I feel like the bottom will drop out any moment like it did before. I’ve been divorced for more than 10 years and don’t want to be alone especially since I know how much we have in common and the fun we have together. Should I be concerned?

Confused & Concerned

Dear Confused & Concerned,

I can certainly understand your concern. The loss of trust is one of the most painful experiences and my heart feels for you. First, I would ask you to pray and ask God to give you guidance….to open doors that need to be opened and to close doors that need to be closed. He sees your heart and he’s faithful to those who love Him. While you wait on the Lord, I would like to make a suggestion. Decide in your mind (even write on paper if need be) what your friend would have to do to earn your trust back. Seeing the list will help you recognize if your trust goal is being accomplished. It might help too if your friend create his own list so he can formulate a plan and thus monitor his success. In the interim, you’re in my prayers and please know that God has just the right man for you…so let him show you.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.